Awkward

Maybe age do affect how a person's thoughts and personality...

I don't know why but lately i m more quiet compare to what I use to be...

Suddenly part of me miss something that is left behind, behind within time, that feeling being a little sad yet that sadness is hide behind other emotions that make it peep out through the key hole of the heard...

Heavy indeed it felt, yet it will quietly dose off and maybe... just maybe it might come back the next day or days later when it felt like too...

Maybe I chose wrongly?

Maybe I don't belong...

Or maybe I just want to be free... free to walk the borders of the country...

to see, to hear, to feel and to taste...

Maybe my position is to be awkwardly not fit to fit?

To fit

I don’t know… when you long so something to comes and you kinda turn desperate before it all happens… when you got it, you felt that you don’t belong… of maybe I just need time to fit in…

Just not use to be alone… When there are groups of people around you…

Just felt like I m a chuck-a-side doll, sitting quietly till it comes to an end…

life's a bitch! crush her!

I’m normally a person that adjust easily to situation, new environments and people… but this time I have some doubts… doubts that this new big company that I kept dreaming on of getting in will just crush me…

Because of all this I have been longing for this pass weekend back at Kelantan, home~ it is no doubt a good rest but yet starting the new week kinda gave me a wee bit of depression.

Browsing through facebook after touching down from KB… there is this boy on China got talent, he lost both his parents when he is just 8 and he is living on strong… it kinda lift the depression and I will hold on to it and will stare the bitch in the eye~!

Erased

If I am erase from everything, everyone's memory, government's records, employer's records, schools' records, the internet etc...

Will anyone felt that there is someone missing in their live?

Will anyone felt that there is a speck of memoir missing... Although they don't no what, but still they miss this speck of erased memories...

Or I will just drown in the cold dark sea of forgotten memories...

Help?

Someone throw me a rope please…

And who say rats are lucky in the rabbit year?

Or this is just a test?

But it is a fucked up 1…

Sick!!!

Have been sick for the pass few days, felt like crap!!! fever have gone but I have been coughing my lungs out!!! arrgh!!