About Me

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I m what I spill here, 80% truth from the heart, I m who I am with another 20% of secrets I keep to myself... 这里吐的就是80%真实的我,另外20%的秘密建设了真正的我。。。

Tuesday, February 27, 2007


Damn this world is fucking damn off its mind! Just got off the phone with my sis to find out that 1 of my pretty cute cousin that is only 5yrs old got Lymphatic cancer, she is now lying on bed and has to get in chemotherapy, how should a 5 yrs old child stand all this torturing! damn this just spoil my night, fight that off girl… sigh get well i still wanted to give back ride carry you around, no complain i promise, just get well

back to my life

Well holiday is over, Chinese New Year is a blast I mean back at KB then, since this is only the 10th day, there is 5 more day to go if anyone is still in the mood to celebrate heheh, well KB is fun and all gamble a lot, drinking eating blah~ (kinda off shape ady.. sigh) but there is something missing back then, we felt weird without that someone back there, hate her for moving out of KB but we will love you always… you big fat creamy lump of CHEESE

this is what i do most of the time when i m back to my grandma's place

I will be some sort of ride to my group of cousins, tiring but what the hack it is fun, plus they are all loveable and cute hehehe

this is my cousin's son, want one of this for my own (talking it as a toy haha) can't believe that I m an uncle... sigh I don't wanna grow up...

Saturday, February 24, 2007

What to be?

The famous to be or not to be by William Shakespeare, in it holds a debate of suicide. The simplest summary of Hamlet's speech might read "Life is so wretched that suicide would be preferable---except that we're too afraid of what might come after death."

But for me now to be
Is it to ask more?
To be greedy, or ambitious?
To be confidence, or arrogant?
Is it to love?
To love myself, or being a narcissistic?
To give or to take?
Is it to push myself more?
To stay on path, or to open new path?
To be lead or to lead?
Is it to be me, myself?
Who m I?
I got confuse day by day,
I gain bit by bit everyday,
From all I gain in confuse me more,
Things that goes on and on,
The same things,
The same things confuse me,
It is the same but yet not,
What is the truth? What is not?
What choice to be made?
What is right and wrong?
Black and white?
Who set things? Who name them?
The world is just a big jumble, Babel.
People love and hate each other,
People with the same color, different color, shape and seizes?
What is it to discriminate?
The blood is red? What is the different?
Who are we?
We get confuse everyday.
Too bad life ain’t a fairy tale.

To be, or not to be (from Hamlet 3/1)

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.

William Shakespeare

taken from:

Zeek's diary, part 9

With a sigh Zeek put his phone down with disappointment, Winton without saying a word give Zeek a pet on his back, in minutes Zeek’s phone ring… with excitement the caller I.D. show – Michelle, “Hello…” the voice that make his heart melt come from the other side of the line, “you call me just now? Sorry I m in the bathroom, anything?” for seconds Zeek have nothing in his head, Winton notice something from his buddies blank look, he push Zeek on his shoulder and wake him up, “no biggie just wanna wish you a happy valentine, so how is your celebration this year? Going out with anyone special?” Zeek tried to test if Michelle is still with her boy friend, “Thanks, errm not so happy this year, caught a cold… and loaded with work, damn… how about you?” “Bah… work? Or excuse?” mumble Zeek in his heart, “as usual alone and not celebrating this day, I stole my friend away from his girl friend and now we are drinking in a bar…” the call is intruded by a push from the back, someone punch Winton in the face and he landed on Zeek’s back…

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Zeek's diary, part 8

He switches his cell phone off, pull his blanket over his face and start sleeping again, lucky for him he is still a student…
“Ring…” the phone rings, “Who is that? Can’t I get some sleep?” he picks up his phone and from the other end is his best of all buddies – Winton, “you wanna have a bite? And after that let crush the bar and have some drinks, it has been long since we chat.” “What? Now? I just sleep…” Zeek talks like he is dying, “what the fuck? Do you realize what time is it now? It is 7 pm for your ass sake” well this 2 friends and not such a big fan of the big guy up there, what mostly they say are about people not include G.O.D. if they well OMG, yeah it is about them. “Now clean yourself up change and I pick you up in 15 minutes.” And Winton hang up, “What?!” without any choice he pull his heavy head of his out of his room and put himself below the shower.

After dinner the guys when to a bar and odder a bottle of whisky to kill off some stress from school, “Oh yeah, you have a date last night, how it goes? You bang her?” Winton finish his word with a smirk, “fuck no I m searching for a relationship not sex! If I want any I can just bring some one home now. And for your concern the date when well…” “ What you did after the date?” ask Winton curiously, “Ermm, after dinner we just go off like that.” Zeek drink on his whisky after we answers, “just that? Did you follow up?” suddenly raising his voice, “follow up… damn! I have a bit too much of a drink!” “Well, call her now!” demand Winton. Zeek took his phone out and dial, but no one’s picking up.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Zeek's diary, part 7

After paying the 2 walk off to the car park, feeling time fly by fast Zeek dunno what to say and ask for Michelle to say for by his side for a while, well Zeek may look confident but he is a hack of a wind beg, there are theories that he pours to his friends that might work but seldom he practice it, nervous? Scared? It is all not even him know. “Well this means good bye then.” Michelle cut off Zeek’s thoughts, “huh? Oh ya…ya… bye.” Well since she have said it…
After Zeek got home it is all him and his bottle of wine again, happy in a way that the date when well, sadly… he cant explain much of it… is all silence only sound made by the TV, after a while he notice that he doze off, “shouldn’t have drank that much, fuck! Now I feel like throwing up.”

The next day he found himself with a heavy head and everything sounded like a gong… his phone ring… “Fuck! This could kill… damn valentines day! Why all the message…” Zeek feel cranky mostly on that day, he never know why, but 1 thing for sure his relationship never last till that day. "it is just the eve of valentine, do they have to send the fuzzy warm stuff now..."

Thursday, February 08, 2007

The eye of malaysia

Well at the last minute after dinner, we decided to go to titiwangsa, to have a look at the eye of Malaysia, is a damn big ferries wheel (not really that big) but it is kinda cool for me…

The new visit Malaysia ambassador -- hoilee

the eye of Malaysia

we walk into the wrong path, kena halau...

got the tickets, RM15 per person

on q, me and beeying

Alan, hoilee and me

up from above

Wats that?

cant wait... photos photos photos

we end it with ice-creams

well bye~

Well I have a fun time going there, hope to be there again, not the place but friends that I enjoy

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Zeek's diary, part 6

“Follow me sir…” the waiter escort Zeek into the lounge after checking the list of reservations. The way to Michelle seems like miles for Zeek, inside him there is a lot happening he felt like yelling out letting all the emotions go… “Here you are sir.” Zeek’s thought was interrupt by the waiter, when he look up there sits Michelle, on the spot where they have dinner before, Zeek’s mind doze off again to that night… “Zeek!” this pull Zeek back from his thoughts, “hello, are you alright? You seem blur…” “Oh I m ok… just a little tired I think… heheh” Zeek force a smile on his face, just to hide his thoughts. “Have some wine, it should refresh you a little, I know you like red wine…” Michelle pours some wine into an empty glass in front of her and offers it to Zeek. As they drink and eat on the dinner Michelle have order before Zeek’s arrival, it is just some short talks among the two, just till the wine kick in, “you have a good taste… the wine and food is just ememm… hahaha I m impress” words just pour off Zeek’s mouth, the two enjoy the evening till the bottle of wine is empty. “Look at the time.” says Michelle, “lets pay the bill and go off?” “Damn, it ends so soon?” mumbles Zeek on a sound just loud enough for himself to listen, “huh?” ask Michelle, “I mean ok… waiter~ may I have the bill please…”