growing up

today is just a tiring day haha, when to midvelly, watch a lonely movie of superman return and as for tomorrow it will be the same thing since I m forgotten... after the movie I meet up Emily and when hunting for Wai's birthday presents and lastly coming up with a decision to buy him a shoe (which it is damn cool, and a lot of people chip in the share, but I bet they don’t event know what the present is hahaha). Well after this we waited for Wai to come fetch us to dinner at telephone restaurant, is a friend's of wai's birthday, well happy birthday (forget his name). the main point is I felt odd, weird, (i got full damn full with all the meat n stuff, give me a mutton now and I will throw out) I felt like an outcast (usually I don’t felt like that) just felt not belong to this group, I just dunno why (sad to say) the whole night I m just quiet sitting hated that ain’t myself, usually I will just mix around talk carp here and there and joke around well now I m just like a cold volcano. Well actually when I move to Cyber Jaya I felt this way although I made some cool friends but... maybe I just miss my old life, my old friends here and there. This is part of growing up I hated, everyone will have their own life with or without others. Living at this so call intelligent city just make it worst, long days without releasing tension (clubbing haaha), and a long time without a relationship really knock things out of me. I m not what I m any more, I felt lost sometimes, miss some friends, even think of people who abandon me as a friend or a lover... well sadly I cant event get a date for a movie hahah, now my confidence is dropping... is this part of growing? I m not buying I m tired and I hated it! I choose not to be some people think I will be or potentially to be, but it gone to a path of desperate lonesome. I don't wanna grow up...